The Perfect Outfit for Spring

Start with faded tropical camouflage trunks;

they will double as swimwear if you fancy a dip later.

Then pull on a pair of rolled cotton spray-on

floral print nylon motocross jeans, which will

go great with the trippy see-through yellow

suede loafers—or mash things up with the

perforated white leather winklepicker boots

(without socks, of course; if you own socks,

burn them now or risk permanent exclusion

from membership in the haute-couture community).

On top, as a base layer, start with a

crumpled silk crepe tunic embossed with

psychedelic butterflies, the more the better.

Over that goes a western bandana shirt.

Leave the collar open—it’s spring, after all—

or try a skinny naval-themed mini-dot tie,

in burgundy, if you want to dress things up a bit.

Either way, go with a rust-speckled white

neoprene belt to make it all pop.

A short jacket is de rigueur, but you have

a variety of options as long as you keep it short:

a khaki-and-red military-inspired utility jacket,

a slim-lapelled color-blocked blazer in

grass green and heightened electric blue,

or a pink waxed denim and lambskin

motorcycle jacket (if you want to go

for something even edgier, you could even

choose a wide-striped hooded cardigan, as long

as it’s made from the last sheep of the species).

For the finishing touch, a pocket square

patterned with black gothic flowers.

If you’re going out, protect yourself from the

elements with a tropical-orange rain parka

and shimmering circular welder shades.

Hats are out this season as designers

aim for wearable practical simplicity.

 

Note: My information (used with a little bit of poetic license) comes from GQ, The Guardian, The Sartorialist, and Style.com, reporting on the runway shows from London, Paris, and Milan.

 

 

Copyright 2013

T. Allen Culpepper

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